A Light Needs Not a Shadow to Shine

By Judi and her inside friends

January 3, 2002

Sad we are the day we died,

How it happened, the people lied.

I sit up straight all pale and white,

Looking back, we tried to fight.

What hurts me most when people see

The girl not there but trying to be;

Or the girl who’s there and has fallen behind

Hiding behind each simple young mind.

When I stand alone, I cast no shadow,

And when I stand not, I cast no glow.

The burning life, the force within,

Flickered and died, an ash of sin.

The mirror oft shows me that nothing is there,

And I try to remember that life is not fair,

The eyes look back that hold no soul,

To attach a life is a lifetime goal.

Sometimes I dance so someone will notice

A transparent self that no one would miss

I dance and I dance with arms flailing wildly,

And some see through, but notice me mildly.

It hurts when they see that I’m not even there,

Withered and bowed, they don’t even care.

They notice not the façade I’ve become

But the façade I’m not, well no matter, I’m numb.

I want to imagine a self taking shape,

A body that stands so something can drape.

A foot that walks and leaves its prints,

An aura that shines and a soul that glints.

Even I sit and stare and cannot see,

The girl who knows she’ll never be.

Can I penetrate a body gone far far away?

Or did this child die young, I cannot say.

Sitting and feeling I try to cast light,

Collecting my souls so they don’t take flight.

Can I sit with it all and feel the force;

The power now gathered from each little source.

We all stand solid, our energies fused,

And the shadow now cast will not be bruised.

The girl in the mirror now often winks back,

All souls now one, they cannot crack.

Each day we gather and bind one to all,

Our force becomes stronger; no need now to crawl.

The people who see are part of the light,

The others, too bad, they’re just not so bright.